


nothin' but a bilge chat

by quickdraws



Category: League of Legends
Genre: gp/illaoi is mentioned but not relevant enough to archive, hinting at graves/tf aye, more tags to be added as they come, nami/mf has been established!!!, once upon a time i was writing chatfics in 2008 so OBVIOUSLY i have to do it again, starts pre-bt, staying true to character?? i dont know her, using the harrowing as a plot device
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-11-04 00:38:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10978731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quickdraws/pseuds/quickdraws
Summary: some dudes chilling out in some weird pirate roleplaying chatroom.alternatively summarized as: the bilgewater chatfic nobody was asking for.





	1. a harrowing decision

**Author's Note:**

> hurrah for my first post in 2 years lmao
> 
> special thanks to all the fics out there that inspired me to have a #tbt to nine years prior xoxo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bunch of assholes be assholes to one another while the undead threaten to tear them new assholes. 
> 
> and nami's there, too.

Welcome to the beginnings of the #harrowing_discussion chat.

 

**[ILLAOI] joined [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

**[MISSFORTUNE] joined [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

 

MISSFORTUNE: ? lol

MISSFORTUNE: what difference does having a chat for this make?

ILLAOI: far more efficient

ILLAOI: its easier to coordinate plans over long distances

 

**[GANGPLANK] joined [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

 

MISSFORTUNE: i mean it’s not like we’re actually that far apart?

MISSFORTUNE: having to cooperate with this asshole is hard enough how do u expect me to deal with being connected to him 24/7 for the next week :///

GANGPLANK: implying that _im_ just fine with this

GANGPLANK: i’d hardly even talk to you ideally

MISSFORTUNE: ok stop talking to me then??

ILLAOI: …

ILLAOI: you will just have to manage.

 

**[ILLAOI] added [TF] to channel [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

 

GANGPLANK: **_absolutely not._ **

ILLAOI: would you rather bilgewater fall apart to the likes of the shadow isles?

**[TF] joined [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

 

GANGPLANK: a tempting thought

ILLAOI: if you love me, at least try

GANGPLANK: …

GANNGPLANK: fine

MISSFORTUNE: gross lol

TF: seconded

TF: this is a terrible idea btw

MISSFORTUNE: ^ seconded

GANGPLANK: man you really scraped the bottom of the barrel for this guy.

TF: @ me you coward

ILLAOI: _enough_

ILLAOI: the chat stays, whether you agree with it or not.

ILLAOI: after the threat of the harrowing has passed you may do as you wish

MISSFORTUNE: ???

MISSFORTUNE: so we’re all just gonna act all friendly with one another

MISSFORTUNE: like im not gonna kill stankflank here the first chance i get

GANGPLANK: hm

GANGPLANK: likewise

TF: need me a freak like that

MISSFORTUNE:  graves

TF:  me, blocking you

ILLAOI: enough of your petty drama

ILLAOI: can we please focus on the task at hand

GANGPLANK: dont worry yourself, we’ll handle it the same as we have every other year

TF: oddly inspirational, coming from the likes of you

GANGPLANK: it’s almost like youre asking to get your ass kicked.

TF: you askin for a fight?

ILLAOI: _enough_

ILLAOI: i said

 

**[ILLAOI] added [NAUTILUS] to channel [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

**[NAUTILUS] joined [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

**[GANGPLANK] went idle**

 

MISSFORTUNE: ? how

MISSFORTUNE: h o w

NAUTILUS: w

 

**[ILLAOI] added [FIZZ] to channel [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

**[ILLAOI] added [NAMI] to channel [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

 

TF: just is

MISSFORTUNE: right sorry i forget that your weapon of choice is a deck of fucking cards

MISSFORTUNE: how dare i question logic

 

**[NAMI] joined [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

 

TF: better than your ma’s guns, last i checked

MISSFORTUNE: do you want to fucking die?

NAMI: um

NAMI: i came at a bad time?

NAMI: ^^;;

TF: i was just leaving actually

 

**[TF] left [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

 

NAMI: what exactly…… is the intent of this chat?

ILLAOI: something even i have begun to question

ILLAOI: you are willing to lend us your aid in defending bilgewater from this year’s harrowing, yes?

NAMI: um

NAMI: possibly?

NAMI: it’s hard for me to say ill be in the area around that time :(

ILLAOI: any help is much appreciated

NAMI: the sea is by your side! ^^b

MISSFORTUNE: what the hell is that lmao

NAMI: ;;

NAMI: am i not using them correctly?

MISSFORTUNE: oh

MISSFORTUNE: emoticons?

NAMI: yes! ;u;

MISSFORTUNE: no yea

NAMI: :D <3

ILLAOI: i find myself coming to regret making this chat

 

**[GANGPLANK] left [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

**[ILLAOI] left [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

 

MISSFORTUNE: you love me

 

**[TF] joined [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

 

TF: ok im back because

TF: seeing as how the harrowing is in maybe……… three days

TF: and we’ve hardly discussed _anything_ despite that being the purpose of this chat

TF: what exactly is our plan

MISSFORTUNE: die??? i guess??

NAMI: :<

 

**[FIZZ] joined [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

FIZZ: 

MISSFORTUNE: mmjsfhxhnbs

NAMI: nobodys going to die!!!!!!!!!

 

**[FIZZ] left [HARROWING_DISCUSSION]**

 

TF: wild

NAMI: truly

 

**[MISSFORTUNE] went idle**

 

TF: just us now

NAMI: looks like it!

NAMI: ^^;; i dont think i really know you!

NAMI: though i suppose i dont really know anybody here haha!

TF: you sure are cute

TF: nothin much to know about me, though

TF: you, on the other hand, seem quite interesting

TF: mind tellin me a bit about yourself?

NAMI: :o !

NAMI: um!

NAMI: im on a quest currently

NAMI: for my people. their fate kinda depends on me

NAMI: it’s a biiiig responsibility, but im determined to see it through!

TF: damn

TF: heavy stuff it seems like

TF: all that and youre still helping out with this harrowing stuff?

NAMI: ^o^ guess so !

MISSFORTUNE: stop flirting

TF: can i not be interested in a girl without someone thinkin i have romantic intentions

NAMI: ^//^

NAMI: youre back!

MISSFORTUNE: never left

MISSFORTUNE: miss me, though?

TF: lol

MISSFORTUNE: hm

MISSFORTUNE: heavy stuff huh

MISSFORTUNE: and fate didnt have anything to say about that

NAMI: ?

TF: i would prefer not to

MISSFORTUNE: hm

MISSFORTUNE: ten years sure is a long time, isnt it

NAMI: ;; ?

TF: haha ok jokes over

TF: not funny anymore

TF: so you can stop

MISSFORTUNE: fate.

MISSFORTUNE: theres been word around town

MISSFORTUNE: you better pray that youve got good life insurance.

TF: can we discuss this AFTER the harrowing isnt threatening our lives

NAMI: ;; ;; ;;

NAMI: im confused!

TF: i

TF: ok

TF: i had a partner

NAMI: im not judging you!!!

NAMI: and like, a partner in a romantically-involved sense?

TF: no

TF: just a good friend, if anything

TF: lost him a long time ago, though

TF: got caught, probably blames it on me.

TF: id be a dead man by morning if he found me

NAMI: do you miss him?

TF: i

TF: suppose so.

TF: i do miss him, yea.

MISSFORTUNE: shit illaoi how do u change the chat name

 

**channel name [HARROWING_DISCUSSION] changed to [TWISTED_FATE_FOUND_DEAD_IN_MIAMI]**

 

MISSFORTUNE: GOT IT LOL

TF: ? fucks a miami

 

**[ILLAOI] joined [TWISTED_FATE_FOUND_DEAD_IN_MIAMI]**

 

MISSFORTUNE: fate do you not know what a fucking meme is

ILLAOI: ? the chat name

TF: you know ive come to the conclusion

TF: this harrowing thing???

TF: itll work itself out

MISSFORTUNE: lol

MISSFORTUNE: it always does

ILLAOI: ....

ILLAOI: perhaps

ILLAOI: making this chat was a mistake.

TF: no shit??

ILLAOI: anyways

ILLAOI: it’s late, get some rest

 

**[ILLAOI] left [TWISTED_FATE_FOUND_DEAD_IN_MIAMI]**

**[TF] left [TWISTED_FATE_FOUND_DEAD_IN_MIAMI]**

 

NAMI: goodnight, friends !

NAMI: ^^;;

 

**[NAMI] left [TWISTED_FATE_FOUND_DEAD_IN_MIAMI]**

 

MISSFORTUNE: …

MISSFORTUNE: goodnight nami

  
**[MISSFORTUNE] left [TWISTED_FATE_FOUND_DEAD_IN_MIAMI]**


	2. introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** reintroduction ....

**[TF] joined [TWISTED_FATE_FOUND_DEAD_IN_MIAMI]**

**channel name [TWISTED_FATE_FOUND_DEAD_IN_MIAMI] changed to [WE_LIVED_BITCH]**

**[MISSFORTUNE] joined [WE_LIVED_BITCH]**

 

MISSFORTUNE: ?? _???_ **_????_ **

MISSFORTUNE: what happened to not bringing this chat back after the harrowing

TF: i was not a fan of the name

TF: so i changed it

 

**[NAMI] joined [WE_LIVED_BITCH]**

 

NAMI: :o ?

NAMI: is the chat coming back?

MISSFORTUNE: sure as hell is not

NAMI: :( well that makes me sad!

NAMI: ive just, yet to make any friends aside from you guys

NAMI: i feel like, youre all very important to me!

NAMI: and the fact that we don’t talk anymore is saddening :(

MISSFORTUNE: ah

MISSFORTUNE: i suppose

MISSFORTUNE: that is respectable

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: someones flustered

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: got a crush?

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: shut up boy

MISSFORTUNE: well ok if we’re really doing this

MISSFORTUNE: then i suppose i should introduce everyone to my new friend

 

**[MISSFORTUNE] added [GRAVES] to channel [WE_LIVED_BITCH]**

 

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: haha oops! :~)

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: ???!

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: WHATTHE FUCK WHAT TGE FUCK WHY WOULD YOU. DO THAT

MISSFORTUNE: 

GRAVES: the hell is this

TF: fortune

TF: you fucking did not

MISSFORTUNE: did what, fate?

MISSFORTUNE: :~)

GRAVE: f

GRAVES: **_tobias_ **

TF: hey darlin

TF: sweetheart

TF: light of my life

NAMI: is this…

NAMI: your ex?

TF: **_no he most certainly is not_ **

GRAVES: real cute

GRAVE: gonna kill you the second i see you, you know that?

TF: im

TF: well aware

MISSFORTUNE: need me a FREAK like that

TF: gangplank??? u bitch???

TF: yall can stop joking @ my expense now

MISSFORTUNE: oh but this is hardly a joke

 

**[GANGPLANK] joined [WE_LIVED_BITCH]**

 

MISSFORTUNE: whys he still here

GANGPLANK: ok but you dont have to be rude

GRAVES: what is going on here

NAMI: _confused screaming_

TF: this is it this is how i die

TF: isnt it

TF: not with a bang but with being surrounded by fucking idiots

MISSFORTUNE: relax toby

MISSFORTUNE: he doesnt know where you are

TF: do not call me that

MISSFORTUNE: yet

 

**channel name [WE_LIVED_BITCH] changed to [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

 

TF: i hate yall

GRAVES: sounds gay when you put it that way

MISSFORTUNE: >implying it wasnt gay already

TF: ooohm hsfj ghsf

TF: oh mhyf hgod

GRAVES: cant wait to knock the teeth out of that pretty mouth of yours

GRAVES: when i get back to bilgewater

TF: **_if_ ** you can find me

NAMI: human courtship sure is confusing…

MISSFORTUNE: lmfao

 

**[TF] went idle**

 

NAMI: oh no

NAMI: whered he go?

MISSFORTUNE: into hiding, probably

MISSFORTUNE: …

MISSFORTUNE: graves

GRAVES: what.

MISSFORTUNE: you know

MISSFORTUNE: he does miss you

MISSFORTUNE: you should know that

GRAVES: dont care

MISSFORTUNE: just keep it in mind while you continue blaming him for it

GRAVES: stay out of it

MISSFORTUNE: i figured

NAMI: ;;

GANGPLANK: since when do you offer relationship advice

MISSFORTUNE: idk since illaoi asked what she should do and i said

MISSFORTUNE: “girl……… dump him”

GANGPLANK: piss off

MISSFORTUNE: lmao

GRAVES: im

GRAVES: leaving

MISSFORTUNE: if you leave im not gonna help you find your boyfriend

MISSFORTUNE: and you wouldnt want to pass that opportunity up, would you?

GRAVES: ? since when were you planning on helping me

GRAVES: unlikely that you know where he’s hiding

GRAVES: also. not my boyfriend

MISSFORTUNE: ;) trust me?

MISSFORTUNE: i _do_ have my ways

GRAVES: doubtful, but im interested to see if you come through.

GRAVES: so ill keep in touch.

MISSFORTUNE: k cool

NAMI: fates nice please dont hurt him :(

GRAVES: y’ dont know him like i do, darlin

GRAVES: can assure you that the snake aint at all what he’s pretending to be right now

TF: malcolm

TF: youre lying to yourself

GRAVES: hardly

MISSFORTUNE “malcolm”

MISSFORTUNE: fate likes to hang out in the old ass warehouse down by the docks if you feel like checking there

 

**[GRAVES] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

 

TF: sarah you BITCH

TF: if i die im haunting you

MISSFORTUNE: that’s fair

 

**[TF] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

 

NAMI: :’o

NAMI: you really think graves would kill him?

MISSFORTUNE: honestly?

MISSFORTUNE: i dont


	3. send the bearded lady my regards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an incredibly accurate, soul-gripping, and heart-wrenching re-telling of burning tides.
> 
> featuring out special guest: nami

**[GRAVES] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

 

GRAVES: dead end, darlin

 

**[TF] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

 

TF: now malcolm

TF: listen

TF: hear me out hotshot

TF: we can talk about this

GRAVES: no we sure as hell cannot

GRAVES: only thing that kept me sane for the past 10 years was this moment

GRAVES: and im not wantin anything more than to wipe that smug look off your face right now

 

**[GANGPLANK] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

 

TF: sounds like you should be thankin me for keeping you alive, then

GRAVES: wiseass

GRAVES: i really am gonna kill ya

 

**[TF] went idle.**

 

GANGPLANK: someone get these GAYS out of my warehouse

 

**[MISSFORTUNE] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

**[NAMI] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

 

MISSFORTUNE: tf?

MISSFORTUNE: tf????

MISSFORTUNE: is he dead lmao

NAMI: i thought you said he wouldnt kill him!!!!! D:

MISSFORTUNE: eh

GRAVES: relax

GRAVES: he aint dead

GRAVES: yet

GRAVES: not till i can actually find him

NAMI: ;; ;; ;;

GANGPLANK: please leave

GANGPLANK: resolve this elsewhere

GANGPLANK: i have no intention of getting involved in this

GRAVES: aint your problem

GRAVES: aint nobodys burden to bear but his own

TF: im flattered

GRAVES: shut the fuck up

MISSFORTUNE: yall are so cute

NAMI: :<

TF: its like you want me to die

MISSFORTUNE: i meannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

MISSFORTUNE: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**[GANGPLANK] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

 

TF: ?

 

**[TF] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

**[GRAVES] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

 

MISSFORTUNE: gonna guess

MISSFORTUNE: "someone" got involved

NAMI: oh dear ;;

 

**[NAUTILUS] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

 

NAMI: !!

NAMI: i can see the docks from here

NAMI: maybe i could get a bit closer..........

MISSFORTUNE: sounds dangerous

MISSFORTUNE: take pics though

NAMI: attachment: img_988290

NAMI: ah oops !!

NAMI: the camera was facing the wrong way qq

NAMI: that's just a picture of me

MISSFORTUNE: 1. those are called selfies

MISSFORTUNE: 2. you are?? so cute?

NAMI: /////

NAMI: aw youre making me blush !

 

  **[TF] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

TF: hey mf 

MISSFORTUNE: what

TF: why the fuck do you even have mal's contact info in the first place

MISSFORTUNE: uh

MISSFORTUNE: hm

**[MISSFORTUNE] went idle.**

TF: that's suspicious

NAMI: how do you have the time to text right now!!!!!!!

NAMI: aren't you still running away from graves?

TF: naw

TF: i gated out

TF: left mal behind in the warehouse

**[GRAVES] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

TF: haha i can hear him yelling from here

GRAVES: BITCH

TF: keep at it sweetheart

**[TF] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

**[GRAVES] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

NAMI: oh dear ;;

NAMI: (again)

NAMI: attachment: img_ 9989007

NAMI: that sure is a lot of pirates

**[NAUTILUS] went idle.**

**[GANGPLANK] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

**[TF] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

GANGPLANK: yall trash my warehouse

GANGPLANK: steal my shit

GANGPLANK: and slaughter my men

GANGPLANK: because yall dont know how to fucking  _talk_

TF: eh

TF: collateral damage

GANGPLANK: "collateral" 

GANGPLANK: how about i kill both of you fucks then

NAMI: on one hand, im very concerned about the direction in which this conversation is headed

NAMI: on the other, however, 

NAMI: you guys look stupid as hell just standing around and just angrily texting one another

NAMI: fate how are you even texting with your hands tied like that?? :o

NAMI: very impressive

TF: you know

TF: im probably about to die

**[TF] went idle.**

**[GANGPLANK] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

  **[NAMI] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

**[MISSFORTUNE] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

MISSFORTUNE: what an interesting development

**[ILLAOI] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

ILLAOI: can you all please just get along

MISSFORTUNE: gangplank murdered my parents and twisted fate is a bitch

MISSFORTUNE: so no

ILLAOI: fair enough

ILLAOI: ........

ILLAOI: did gangplank's ship just explode

MISSFORTUNE: yes

ILLAOI: are you responsible for this

MISSFORTUNE: yes

**[GRAVES] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

**[NAMI] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

GRAVES: what the fuck

MISSFORTUNE: you lived bitch

MISSFORTUNE: where's tf

GRAVES: with us

GRAVES: nami had to haul his ass back to the surface

NAMI: ;; i made good time !

MISSFORTUNE: what 

MISSFORTUNE: the fuck was gp doing ?

GRAVES: trying to kill us 

GRAVES: threw us overboard but tf got out

GRAVES: thought he'd run 

MISSFORTUNE: wait is he still alive?

GRAVES: yeah i

GRAVES: when i was sinking

GRAVES: he came back for me

GRAVES: ....

GRAVES: what a dumbass

NAMI: he nearly died for you!

NAMI: the least you could do is thank him

  **[TF] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

TF: fortune

MISSFORTUNE: fate

TF: you wild bitch

MISSFORTUNE: you were willing to die for a man who was about to kill you not even 10 minutes prior

MISSFORTUNE: and im the wild bitch

TF: love is one hell of a drug

GRAVES: nami can we have a moment

NAMI: uh shore !

NAMI: please don't try and kill each other again!!

**[TF] went idle.**

**[GRAVES] went idle.**

MISSFORTUNE: what no

NAMI: you think i'd leave those two alone after what just happened?

MISSFORTUNE: figured you wouldnt lmao

MISSFORTUNE: so what's going on

NAMI: i can't tell, theyre talking really quietly

NAMI: and--

NAMI: oh

NAMI: //////////

MISSFORTUNE: what!!!!!!!!!

MISSFORTUNE: what does that mean!!!!!!!

GRAVES: means fuck off

GRAVES: damn

NAMI: :x

GRAVES: stop

NAMI: :x :x :x

GRAVES: please

TF: so gangplank's fucking dead

TF: now what

MISSFORTUNE: dunno

MISSFORTUNE: tbh i didnt think much about what happens beyond that

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: so is he a good kisser

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: where the hell are you gettin the implications that we kissed

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: well

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: for starters

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: im not an idiot, fate

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: fuck sake

TF: i didnt kiss him, sarah

TF: wait fuck

MISSFORTUNE: nice one

TF: dont

NAMI: :3c

TF: dont

GRAVES: ok im not fucking dense

TF: gdi

TF: we have

TF: a lot to talk about

GRAVES: that much i can agree with 

GRAVES: im still pissed at you

TF: feeling's mutual, hotshot

MISSFORTUNE: cute

MISSFORTUNE: yall feel like kissing and making up anytime soon?

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: seems like you certainly do

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: id kick your ass if i could right now

GRAVES: please stop talking

TF: ok ok can we sort this out when we're on dry land again?

TF: please

GRAVES: yeah that's

GRAVES: one of the few suggestions of yours i can actually agree with

**[TF] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

**[GRAVES] left [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

NAMI: wild..............

MISSFORTUNE: see

MISSFORTUNE: now youre getting it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was meant to be a fic i worked on in between other, more serious projects, but my motivation is really lacking as of late lmao
> 
> this chapter was really fun to write tho


	4. what comes next

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> gangplank is dead.
> 
> tf wishes he could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVENT FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS FIC, COLLEGE HAS JUST BEEN KICKING MY ASS HUUUUUUU  
> why do these chapters always feel shorter?  
> also starting to go back and make tweaks to previous chapters to improve the transitions between chapters!  
> (should i post this in the graves/tf tag?)

**[FIZZ] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

**[ILLAOI] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

FIZZ: she’s waiting for someone to open this chat again

ILLAOI: the last message was sent 2 hours ago

**[TF] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

TF: hey

TF: im fucking tired

FIZZ: the girl reading this

**[MISSFORTUNE] joined [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY]**

**channel name [TF_AND_GRAVES_10_YEAR_ANNIVERSARY] changed to [RAT_TOWN]**

MISSFORTUNE: aw

MISSFORTUNE: what was wrong with the old name?

TF: im not here to be harassed by you, sarah

MISSFORTUNE: sure

MISSFORTUNE: you find dry land yet?

TF: funny

TF: yes, we did.

MISSFORTUNE: and how's your man doing?

MISSFORTUNE: heard he lost his gun :(

 

**[GRAVES] joined [RAT_TOWN]**

TF: said he’d be fine without it, would be a real easy fix.

TF: started getting antsy after a few minutes of walking though

GRAVES: fuck off

GRAVES: im leaving you

GRAVES: again

TF: babe :((

GRAVES: excuse me

TF: too soon

MISSFORTUNE: sdfhghfjg??

MISSFORTUNE: yall really still together?

GRAVES: aint that why you contacted me in the first place

TF: I

MISSFORTUNE: firstly

MISSFORTUNE: how do you know that was me?

TF: KNEW IT

MISSFORTUNE: secondly no

GRAVES: huh

GRAVES: actually i had no idea that was you

GRAVES: but thanks for confirming a suspicion

TF: sarah WHY

MISSFORTUNE: shit

TF: **SARAH**

MISSFORTUNE:  **forget i said anything**

**[NAMI] joined [RAT_TOWN}**

MISSFORTUNE: nami!

MISSFORTUNE: how are you darling!!!!!

NAMI: !!! im okay!

NAMI: you seem very excited!!!!!

MISSFORTUNE: well uh YEAH why would i not be

TF: hm

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: alright

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: confess

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: i asked first

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: ?

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: [MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: so is he a good kisser

NAMI: sorry about your gun, graves ;; it seemed awfully important to you.

NAMI: i can try looking for it again if you'd like!

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: my god

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: fuck off

GRAVES: aint no worry now, darlin

GRAVES: though i appreciate the sentiment

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: ...............he is

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: OH--

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: MY GOD!/????

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: OH MY FUKCING???!???!!!!!!!!!

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]:  **TOBIAS.**

GRAVES: well on my way to get myself a new one anyway

NAMI: well ok!

NAMI: tf with you?

[MISSFORTUNE] to [NAMI]:  **NAMI.**

[NAMI] to [MISSFORTUNE]: yes?

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: you wanna confess now too?

GRAVES: yeah

GRAVES: seems to be a bit preoccupied at the moment with his phone

GRAVES: @TF

TF:  **what.**

MISSFORTUNE: @TF

MISSFORTUNE: @TF

MISSFORTUNE: @TF

TF: **please.**

[MISSFORTUNE] to [NAMI]: THEYRE SO OBLIVIOUS OH MY GOD

[NAMI] to [MISSFORTUNE]: ahahaahaaa

[NAMI] to [MISSFORTUNE]: they really are!

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: oh im definitely into nami

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: but not as much as you are into graves

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: fuck sake

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: can we drop this now.

GRAVES: why the fuck is everyone typing 

[MISSFORTUNE] to [GRAVES, TF]:  **HEY.**

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE, GRAVES]:  **SARAH.**

ILLAOI: i fail to understand anything going on in this chatroom anymore and at this point i am too afraid to ask.

FIZZ: pal

FIZZ: you and me both

[MISSFORTUNE] to [GRAVES]: so ive been told that you're an exceptional kisser.

[GRAVES] to [MISSFORTUNE]:  **christ.**

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: sarah he's staring at me now 

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: what the hell did you tell him

**[FIZZ] went idle.**

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: darling

MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: i swear, my lips are sealed

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: :x

MISSFORTUNE: glad yall are still here though

MISSFORTUNE: don't know what i would do without you especially, illaoi

ILLAOI: hm

**[GRAVES] left [RAT_TOWN]**

**[TF] left [RAT_TOWN]**

MISSFORTUNE: OH????!

NAMI: ???!!!!

ILLAOI: ok

ILLAOI: i'm lost

ILLAOI: what exactly is going on here

MISSFORTUNE: hey remember how you and gangplank got together?

ILLAOI: unfortunately

MISSFORTUNE: yeah that

ILLAOI: im still failing to understand.

MISSFORTUNE: nami where did they say they were going again?

NAMI: uuuuhhhh

NAMI: cant remember

NAMI: going to replace graves' gun, i think?

MISSFORTUNE: likely piltover

MISSFORTUNE: sheriff's gonna have a GREAT time having to deal with those two lmfao

**[TF] joined [RAT_TOWN]**

**[ILLAOI] went idle.**

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: ???!?!!!!

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: what

[MISSFORTUNE] to [TF]: GOT SOMETHING TO SHARE?

NAMI: welcome back!

TF: i trust none of you

NAMI: fair

[TF] to [MISSFORTUNE]: still tormenting me i see

**[GRAVES] joined [RAT_TOWN]**

MISSFORTUNE:  **tobias**

MISSFORTUNE:  **you're absolutely killing me here.**

TF: die then

TF: attachment: img_108993

MISSFORTUNE: how cute!

MISSFORTUNE: is that a hickey i see there, foxtrot?

TF: no

TF: no it's fucking not

[TF] to [GRAVES]: DAMN YOU

[TF] to [GRAVES]: WHY THE FUCK DIDNT YOU TELL ME

[GRAVES] to [TF]: dumbass

GRAVES: at this point i have to ask why this is such a big deal

GRAVES: tf and i have been fucking around for years

GRAVES: what exactly makes it a problem now

[TF] to [GRAVES]:  **MALCOLM**

MISSFORTUNE: -10

GRAVES: had it not been for the laws of this chat i would slaughter you

**[NAUTILUS] joined [RAT_TOWN]**

NAUTILUS: wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

NAUTILUS: you all talk too much lol

MISSFORTUNE: DAMN alright

**[TF] went idle.**

GRAVES: hm

GRAVES: i should probably follow him out

MISSFORTUNE: ?? where are you

GRAVES: idk

GRAVES: some shitty inn

MISSFORTUNE: you think thats safe?

GRAVES: assuming you did your job and wiped out most of gangplank's men

GRAVES: then yes.

MISSFORTUNE: hey now

MISSFORTUNE: you know this is about you, right

GRAVES: ive..... been aware

NAMI: great! glad we've figured this all out!

NAMI: please can we rest easy now? ;;

[TF] to [GRAVES]: malcolm

[TF] to [GRAVES]: hey

[GRAVES] to [TF]: where the hell did you go

[GRAVES] to [TF]: why did you think runnin off on your own like that was a good idea

[GRAVES] to [TF]: why did you just leave without tellin me anythin

[TF] to [GRAVES]: outside

[TF] to [GRAVES]: can we talk

[GRAVES] to [TF]: 'course.

**[GRAVES] went idle.**

MISSFORTUNE: hm

MISSFORTUNE: an interesting development.

NAMI: agreed

NAMI: please go to bed, sarah ;;

MISSFORTUNE: mh.

MISSFORTUNE: fine.

NAMI: <3 ! thank you

NAMI: you need rest!

MISSFORTUNE: <3 

**channel name changed from [RAT_TOWN] to [I_LOVE_MY_GIRLFRIEND]**

**[MISSFORTUNE] left [I_LOVE_MY_GIRLFRIEND]**

NAMI: :o !

NAMI: oh wow gn !

**[NAMI] left [I_LOVE_MY_GIRLFRIEND]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i talk more about uno machine on tumblr @sky-byte
> 
> [img_108993] tf, flipping off the camera. he looks unamused.

**Author's Note:**

> i dont really have a set goal for this fic? its just something to post really because ive had such a poor writers block as of late :/ dont take any of this seriously please just enjoy my shitposting


End file.
